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Bewedded, Not Beloved

Chapter: 421

Not for the child, is it for me?
If it was before yesterday, he had confessed this suspicious confession to me, I would definitely listen to it overjoyed.
But now I have no reason to listen, and I am not qualified to listen.
I pushed him away, and then walked past him: “I’m sleepy and I want to sleep.”
I went to bed and fell asleep, Xi Qingchuan lifted my quilt: “Don’t you say you are going to take a bath?”
“Don’t wash it.” I pulled the quilt over my head again: “So sleepy.”
Then I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. In fact, I was not asleep at all.
I almost didn’t sleep all night. I know that Xi Qingchuan also slept very late. During the night, he got up and looked at me several times. He put one hand on the pillow and looked down at me like that.
I pretended to sleep soundly and made a slight snoring sound.
Xi Qingchuan’s eyes were very hot, and I knew he was very puzzled, why I was so depressed these past two days, so I refused him thousands of miles away.
I hope he will never understand. It is better for me to bear this cruel fact.
I want to be the savior again, and I want to be the Virgin again, and now I’m a good man, I don’t know why I was scolded as a virgin whore by others.
I don’t understand. Why do I become a bitch when I think about others everywhere and sacrifice the ego to perfect others.
It is really difficult to survive in this society.
Xi Qingchuan had a meeting the next morning, so he left early.
I was very awake when he left. He thought I was still asleep, so he leaned over my ear and whispered to me: “If I have time at noon, if I have time to find you to eat, you can sleep a little longer.”
Then he kissed lightly on my sideburns before leaving.
He walked for a while, his breath still seemed to be stored on my cheeks.
While washing, I looked at myself in the mirror and touched the cheek that Xi Qingchuan had just kissed.
I don’t think he will treat me so tenderly after today.
Starting today, he will hate me to the bone.
Anyway, I didn’t have the taste of being hated.
Xiao Shi Xiao Ling Ling hates me, but I have no feelings for them, and it doesn’t matter if they hate me.
I don’t know what it feels like to be hated by someone I like, I finally admit it now.
I like Xi Qingchuan, very, very much.
It can be said that I love him.
I am very sad to realize this.
After I washed and ate breakfast, I told Ruan Ling last night that I would go a little later in the morning.
Then I rushed to the hospital. The doctor was already waiting for me.
She is a very kind female doctor. She helped me with a full body check, and then solemnly asked me again: “Have you thought about it, really don’t want your baby? I just looked at you. He is very healthy.”
“No.” I said to the doctor categorically, and even grinned at her to show that I was calm.
I flipped through my phone last night and saw a novel that I couldn’t die. It said that my brother and sister had given birth to a freak. It made me creepy. I felt that the child in my stomach had grown three eyes now. Open your mouth.
There is no way to resist the fear of the unknown.
I was firm, and the doctor didn’t have to say anything.
Pregnancy termination surgery is legal in China, and I have the right to determine the life and death of the child in my stomach.
For him now he is just an embryo, without thoughts, without emotions, without feelings, anger, sorrow, and perception. The sooner it is done, the fairer it will be for him.
Although there is no fairness at all.
I had a painless operation and I was lying on the operating table.
The novels I’ve read all say that surgery is cold, but it’s not. Nowadays hospitals are very humane. If the weather is too cold, the bottom of the operating table can be heated. When I lie down, it’s warm, but it feels like a piece. The soldering iron is burning me.
The doctor turned on the operating light above my head. I was lying on the operating table for the first time and felt that the operating light was so dazzling, it was going to blind my eyes.
I want to thank the medical prosperity, because I don’t feel the pain at all, and I don’t even feel the pain at all when the device is inserted into my body.
I just brutally killed my first child, maybe the last.
It’s dark, no, it’s dark before my eyes.
The operation was very fast. After 20 minutes, the doctor told me that it was done.
“The operation went smoothly, and there are no residues.”
She asked me to lie down on the operating table for a while, and then come down when I recover.
I lay down for a full hour. The doctor prescribed anti-inflammatory drugs and told me that after the anesthetic passed, there might be a little pain, but it was not too strong and could be tolerated.
I thanked the doctor, and then staggered out of the hospital.
Today the weather is very good, there is no artistic rendering on the TV series, the heroine walked on the empty street after a miscarriage, suddenly stormy, the heroine alone Xingzhiyingdan makes people feel pity and love.
But today the weather is good, the sun is scorching, and the pedestrians around me hurriedly pass by me, I am not alone at all.
But I am lonely.
I went back to Xiaoshi, and Ruan Ling came in to report to me just as soon as I was firmly seated.
She still didn’t speak, and when she glanced at me, she exclaimed: “President, why is your face so ugly? It’s like a serious illness, why are you uncomfortable?”
“Pour some hot water for me to drink.” I said.
“Good, good.” She walked to the door, and I said again: “Go and soak some brown sugar water.”
“Oh.” Ruan Ling took two steps and then stopped: “President, drink less brown sugar, saying that there is a substance in brown sugar that warms the palace, which seems not good for the fetus.”
“It’s okay, you go rush.”
Ruan Ling murmured and left. After a while, she came in with my thermos cup, and she didn’t hand it to me, looking at me worriedly: “President, I just checked the Internet just now, so don’t drink it.”
“I said nothing.” I brought it over and took a sip, the hot aroma of brown sugar hooked my soul back a little.
I got a stomachache and went to the bathroom in my office. When I got out of it to prepare for work, I didn’t pay attention to when Ruan Ling also went in.
Sometimes she is lazy and uses the one in my office without going to the toilet in the company.
My file folder was still not open, she ran out in a panic, standing at my desk and staring at me: “President, why is there blood on the toilet paper in the paper basket?”

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